Today was very awkward; I woke up this morning from a gloomy night. I wasn't looking forward to my morning doctor's appointment; I had so many angry things to say to him about my last two months and how I have not been progressing fast enough. Nevertheless, a crazy women enters the office in full outrage that she was being charged for a last month "no-show" appointment. That scene in itself, made me forget about all the hateful things that were going through my mind.
Later that morning, I decided to go to the gym again (surprise!! surprise!!) My favorite place these days. While going through my workout, I started to give up after about 40 minutes into the routine; I bumped into my personal trainer (who I will be meeting tomorrow morning for another session) and I couldn't even hold it together long enough before I began to tear up. He was lecturing me on not wanting to waste my money using his services due to the fact that my diet (80%) of a workout plan, had too many carbs and that I needed to increase my protein and fat intake in order to build more muscle. He wanted to know why I wasn't focusing on my diet strong enough.
Well, when you have to think about how your career and well being is falling apart and when you have no idea where your life is going to be in the next few months and when you're living off your savings account while on medical, and you have several bills, needs, and wants, to pay and purchase; it's pretty hard to really give a fuck about having a high protein intake in order to build more muscle. He's lucky to see me coming into the gym. When truthfully, I would probably be wasting my money there if I didn't have the training sessions; doing so is actually giving my some motivation to go to the gym, in order to get my money's worth.
Besides, tearing up in front of a man I hardly know, while standing in the middle of the weight room; my day is ending more on the positive note as compared to my negative morning and previous evening.....Depression can be a real bitch.
No comments:
Post a Comment